Houston, We Have a Problem.

A high school friend on Facebook shared a post I couldn't help comment on. The post was about Roseanne's show going to Fox, how awesome it is, and to spread the word. Now, I'm ok with their conservative beliefs, and I'm ok with seeing an endless supply of photos of their grandchildren. I mean, that is 28% of Facebook's purpose: for proud grandparents to brag on their grandkids. What's depressing to me is my classmates are actually becoming grandparents already. How the fuck did that happen? Travis is a good bloke and I don't think you'll find a kinder, nicer person to the people he cares about than him. But, I was not okay with a post that presented a statement as fact when it is the furthest thing from it. I responded with this: "Sigh. This is not true. And, you guys complain about fake news?" Several hours later I went back to look, and the post was gone. No comment, no emojis, just gone.

What is the blind loyalty conservatives have with their own kind? And, how do we get some as Asian Americans? Because all the way on the other end of the loyalty spectrum sit my people group. In dead stinking last place. I have to look on in horrific admiration to the moral jujitsu that conservatives play with their beliefs. The hypocrisy is literally mind numbing. If you think what Roseanne did is protected by her First Amendment right of freedom of speech. yet you support Samantha Bee getting fired, congratulations, you have completely surrendered whatever shred of decency you had left. To borrow a hated Southern term, "Bless your heart."

Too much of anything can be a fatal aspect. I believe the absolute and complete acquiescence the far right has in accepting and defending the incredibly awful messages coming from that wing of the political spectrum is one of the worst things I have ever witnessed. Wow, that's a mouthful. Let's break that sentence down, shall we? Loyalty dictates if you are "one of us", then no matter how terrible the message or the person is, you gotta stick up for it/them. What are these awful messages? Anti-immigrant, anti-minority, anti-equal rights, anti-progress. Why is it one of the worst things I've witnessed? Two reasons. One, because I don't know how to fix it. In fact, I'm somewhat jealous of it. Which brings up reason two. I want to borrow it, and I hate myself for wanting that.

This blog is based on the efforts of several Korean American Adoptees. We discuss, fairly often, issues stemming from being in this demographic. The blog originated from the KAD Facebook page. Looking at the subscription statistics of this blog, you would think the vast majority of subscribers are Korean American adoptees, right? I mean there are over 100,000 of us in the US alone. Over 200,000 of us worldwide. If not KADs, surely the majority of the subscribers would be Korean American in general. 1,300,000 Americans can claim that distinction. Okay, if not Korean-American, Asian-Americans should be the bulk, after all, over seventeen million people can claim that ethnic background here. Well, I looked at the subscriptions, and that is most definitely not the case. As far as a healthy support from my very own community, it has come up fucking crickets and tumbleweeds.

We just got done with Asian Pacific American Heritage Month. The buzz about it on the groups I belong to on Facebook registered as high as the buzz about Sears closing 63 more stores in the US. You know what got the most buzz in May in the KAD group? A fucking prom dress a Utah high school girl wore. Other hot topics of discussion were how shitty white people are, how being abandoned sucks, more of the exact same posts about someone's ethnic makeup from 23andME test results (Holy shit, none of us are 100% Korean, yet we're all going to post on how surprised we are!), and who had the shittier, more narcissistic, adoptive parent. My favorite admin on the KAD page would consistently post something good about Asian Americans in support of APAH Month, but the vast majority didn't respond to that at all. I have concluded that Korean American Adoptees just don't give a shit about anything but themselves, INDIVIDUALLY. My buddy Travis will walk through the gates of hell to help Roseanne get her racist ass on the one true American network, Fox. Will KADs support a platform for Asian American males to finally be heard? The answer is a resounding no.

In the evolution of my identity, I have had moments where I was starting to have some pride on being a Korean American. But, in looking at the subject matter of the discussions, the lack of loyalty, and the overall priorities of the community, I'm currently at the lowest I've felt since this whole journey started. The harsh lesson I think KADs and conservatives can share is this: Before you start slamming other groups, fix your own house first. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Whatever cliché you want to use, the reality is if you are reading this post, statistically speaking, you're a white person. Growing up different in a white society wasn't a lot of fun. But, no matter what they have done, we still have received more support from that demographic than the very one who should’ve been our biggest advocates. I'm more confused than ever as to what I am, or more importantly, what I want to be. Currently, I'm embarrassed and ashamed to call myself a KAD. Now I wish there were more conservatives who were embarrassed and ashamed of what their peers have become as well. We'd both become better groups of people if we admitted there is a problem. That's the first step to solving the issue. Identifying a problem. And, we have a very big fucking problem.

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