Just Go For It, White People.

June 4, 2018

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It's about a month later which, I think, is enough time to have a discussion without having hysterical, hypersensitive, shrieking, harpies paying any attention to this because they're too busy being all offended at the most recent manufactured controversy that's plaguing society. I mentioned the stoopid prom dress yesterday and, by golly, I completely forgot I wanted to discuss it at some point in time. It's 12:30 AM and I have to come up with something, so no time like the present, right? Here we go!

 

I kinda feel sorry for this girl who wore the prom dress. For those of you who don't pay any attention to the world around you, Keziah Daum, a Utah high school girl, wore a cheongsam to her prom. A cheongsam is a traditional Chinese garment. Her explanation for doing so was she wanted to make fun of Chinese people and let all of her classmates know she thinks that Chinese people are only good for one thing, and that is target practice. She felt the best way to get into the most racist sorority at Brigham Young University would be to look really terrific and happy wearing another culture's clothing. Oh, that's not what she said? Could have fooled me with all the hysteria based around it! I think her real answer was she thought it looked pretty, and she wanted to wear it. Now, the completely ignorant poses she and her friends did whilst wearing cheongsam didn't help her cause at all. But, that’s a completely different topic and another post which I will probably forget to write about.

 

I've spent a month thinking about things that would really piss me off if someone who wasn't that specific ethnicity would wear and maybe I'm not as liberal as I think I am because I haven't come up with anything yet. I can't really speak to black, or Hispanic cultures, and I honestly can't even speak to Korean, or Asian cultures either. I don't know shit about it. The only culture I can speak to is PA Dutch culture and, if you want to ride around in a horse and buggy for shits and giggles, buddy, go for it. I honestly don't know what would inspire a white person to have dreadlocks, and I can't possibly imagine how that feels from a black perspective. I would guess it looks hilarious and you would spend a good bit of time making fun of them. I know I would. I don't know how it feels to a person of Mexican descent watching all of the drunken morons wearing sombreros on Cinco de Mayo. The only time I have ever worn a sombrero was on my honeymoon long ago at Carlos and Charlies where they have the photo booth where you get the souvenir picture taken. I've never worn a sombrero on Cinco de Mayo because I tend to not participate with ridiculous traditions. Oh, shit. No, I am not calling a sombrero ridiculous. Whew, that was a close one. Crisis narrowly averted.

 

Let's look at Korean culture. If I were to go around wearing a hanbok, which is a traditional Korean garment, no one would criticize me for it -- which is completely and absolutely unfair. My wife speaks better Korean than I do. By the way, that doesn't mean she's about to join the UN interpreter team, all that means is she can say hello AND goodbye in Korean. Whereas, I can only say hello. But still, she speaks better Korean than I do! I think you all know if I were to post a picture of me in a hanbok online, not one person would have anything critical to say about it and that, is a glaring issue. The reality is I would be just as big of a fraud and cultural appropriator as the Utah prom girl. If I were to wear a haori, a Japanese coat, no one would think twice about it. But, am I Japanese? What is the motivation for wearing that garment? I bet you any amount of money there would be no protest about it. Korean and Japanese culture are very different, so why am I wearing something that is Japanese? No one would care. So, why the outrage for Keziah? Oh, it's because she's white? Gotcha. Apparently, that's bad. White people can't wear things they find interesting, or pretty because someone's culture isn't their goddamn costume. I must have forgotten that prom is where you make statements and do your absolute best to be insensitive.

 

We're losing perspective on what really matters here. You know the white people I'm mad at? Those motherfuckers in Charlottesville, VA wearing Nazi swastikas on their arms. As long as Keziah doesn't join the Aryan Brotherhood, or the KKK I don't give two shits what she wears, and honestly, fellow minorities, neither should you. We are in the middle of an existential crisis in the United States about what it means to be an American and the bad guys are gaining some ground here. Meanwhile you snowflakes are going to lose your shit about someone wearing the wrong kind of dress? I never thought I would ever say this in my life, but I actually agree with Jonah Goldberg. That is how far people have taken this issue. I find myself agreeing with a conservative commentator who has concluded that we're just looking for things to be mad about.  It sure is a convincing argument. If you took offense to this, you are like the person who is piling more food on top of the plate that is already overflowing. We have huge issues to deal with and what people wear is currently near the bottom of that list. Unless you're a white dude sporting a fu man chu, then you're a prick and it's on like Donkey Kong, bitch.

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