A truly horrible day was two years ago yesterday when I was coming home from rugby practice and I called the Sane One to ask how the election was going. She answered the phone in a worried voice and I could tell that something was terribly wrong. The worst person to enter American politics was about to become the next President of the United States. While this was met with joy by some people, the vast majority of educated and knowledgeable people saw it for exactly what it was -- an unmitigated train wreck for our society. The midterm elections are over, and the hoped-for blue wave did not exactly materialize. Yes, the road to taking the Senate was one of the most historically difficult paths ever faced. But that doesn't excuse Indianans (Hoosiers), Floridians, Missourians, and Georgians from caving into their lowest common denominators and letting the most vile, fear-laden, vitriolic, racist, and factually inaccurate rhetoric from the Donald dictate what they felt were the correct people into elected positions. I was pretty pessimistic that here in Texas Beto would beat the Slimy Crawdad (Stephen King's awesome nickname for Ted Cruz), but that didn't stop me from proudly displaying my Beto for Texas bumper sticker and voting with a clear head and not a fearful one. Side note to my topic, people down here like to talk about how tough Texans are. Well, sorry folks, y'all are a bunch of pussies. And I apologize to actual pussies for comparing such a miserable people group to you. You, brave Texans, lost your shit about a "caravan" of asylum seekers largely comprised of women and children and advancing at a terrifying walking pace thousands of miles away. You cheered the deployment of soldiers ranging from 5,000 to 15,000 to greet these poor people with potential lethal force. You believed the idiots at Fox who claimed smallpox, Islamic terrorists, MS-13, and Voldemort all coming to destroy the American way of life if they weren't dealt with. The fact that many of you can go to church with a straight face and an alleged clear conscience sickens me. You know what was the biggest issue for Democrats? Healthcare and not allowing insurance companies to reject Americans for preexisting conditions, you know, the thing that Republicans started lying about a couple of weeks ago and you guys believed. But that's not the topic of today's blog post.
Given what I just said and the forcefulness in which I said it, you would think that I would be hoping for the blue wave to materialize and provide some actual checks and balances to this horrible menace in the White House. Believe it or not, I didn't. You know who I envy? Surfers. Surfers can navigate actual waves. They are one of the few people on this planet who can. For the rest of us who aren't cool enough to hang ten, waves can be destructive and harmful things. And even surfers don't ride a tsunami. Waves can do horrible, horrible things. I am studying tsunamis in school currently, and if you ever get a chance to watch the Boxing Day tsunami in Indonesia, you can see what ended up killing 230,000 people. Waves are destructive forces. And like actual physical waves, other waves can do equally bad things.
November is National Adoption Month and this blog is devoted to talking about adoptee identity. So now I am going to tie in the lack of a Blue Wave with being an international adoptee, and maybe you will come to realize why I say waves are not always a good thing. I went through my own wave of sorts this year. It was a wave of knowledge and information about my past. And instead of a nice, gentle flow of data, it came in a series of tsunami-like waves. The waves knocked down my self-confidence, my identity, my values, and my modus operandi. All at once I had to deal with a completely different reality than what I had known for almost my entire adult life. It was a Pandora's Box that plopped onto my lap and, like the dickhead that I am, I opened it -- even though my self-defense mechanisms told me that nothing good could come out of it. A wave does not allow you to prepare for what is about to happen. I'm already convinced the US is about to enter a second Civil War because of what is happening in this country. It makes me absolutely despondent to think that one side believes in facts and the other side just simply doesn't. That's the line in the sand that is about to define what side you will be on. And I know many people who will gleefully choose the side of feelings over actual science and statistics. If a blue wave had occurred, those people would entrench even deeper, and more right-wing lunatics would make bombs, kill innocent people that they don't like, and make up threats to scare the bejeezus out of dimwitted Americans who can't fucking pick up a book or even watch any other channel besides Fox "News". The truly scary thing is that if the blue wave had occurred, the law of averages dictates that eventually an assassination attempt will actually be made by someone somewhat competent. But the MAGAites got enough good news that they can feel like their side is winning and bullshit walls can be built and even more bullshit people can be put into office to help assfuck this country back to days of 1930s Germany. So, while the wrong people got into office from my side and viewpoint, enough of them got in that the fragile equilibrium that exists between blue and red can be mantained a little bit longer. There is no equilibrium in my mind. I feel like my internal psyche is completely ravaged and there aren't enough pieces to pick up and repair. It will require a complete rebuild and I have to decide just how much of the old way of life I want to keep and how much of the new one I want to have present. See, Conservatives, I do know something about yearning for the good old days. I can relate to the feeling that something just isn't quite right to the current situation we find ourselves in. The difference between conservatives and me is that I can't stick my head in the sand and pretend that the new information will just go away. I have no idea what my new identity will be. I have no clue how much of the old Derek will be retained. What I do know is that the old way of being can't operate in this new world. So I will have to face this new reality and adapt. Or I could go to Academy and buy myself some guns, because I do live in Texas, and apparently that's what we do down here when we are faced with things we are scared of, y'all.