Duck Eggs and Racism

May 16, 2019

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A friend of ours very generously shares her poultry eggs with us. In the past, they have consisted of delicious and very fresh chicken eggs. The batch that we received this time however had four duck eggs in the carton. I never had a duck egg before, so this was a new experience. Typically, I find that the best approach to eggs is to not really think about it at all and just enjoy their high levels of tastiness. The more thought that I put into the concept of egg consumption, the more uncomfortable I got. Anyway, I fried up two of the duck eggs and sure enough, they looked like chicken eggs cooking in the pan. The taste was very comparable, but my mind prevented me from truly enjoying them. Why was that? Because they weren't chicken eggs.

 

Well, this naturally got me thinking about racism. Maybe naturally is a strong word. I think most people wouldn't connect the two concepts, but you have all figured out that my mind works in mysterious ways. Just like when I think about quilting, I naturally start pondering the horrors of genocide. Growing up in a Pa. Dutch community obsessed with quilting meant that my childhood was constant contemplation of the worst ways that humans can act towards one another. But I started thinking about racism because my discomfort towards duck eggs had no real basis on anything but my own internal bias towards something new and different. 

 

I decided to pursue my discomfort a little further. I rationally knew that many people enjoy duck eggs. My friend wouldn't give us something terrible, she doesn't have a mean bone in her body. The internets all supported the nutritional benefit of duck eggs. I even tried them and found them quite tasty. And yet I was still very uncomfortable! That annoying bastard in the back of my head was most definitely not ok with this whole experience. Eggs are from chickens, dammit! And the shells should preferably be white! Those are the best quality eggs and everything else is inferior. It was at that moment I realized I just might have a future as a Fox News pundit after all. Because as dumb as my discomfort was, it was still stubbornly present - against science, against the opinion of people I respect, and against the very concept of having an open mind.

 

I think at that moment, I literally said out loud "Ohhhhhh...fuck." Like a sledgehammer to the side of the head (I think I might be watching too much violence on tv), I realized that my previous attempts to combat racism with facts was a really stupid tactic. Racism is emotional. And all too often, emotions are not connected to reality in any form whatsoever. You can try and convince a MAGA hat wearing person about all the ways that their viewpoints are factually incorrect, and you might think you're crushing it because you're compliant to the National Parliamentary Debate Association rules, but you're still gonna lose. Why? Because facts don't matter, dummy. That person isn't stupid, they're just emotional. And emotion tops facts almost every single time. 

 

Then I started to think about what I am. Basically, I'm a chicken egg that came from a duck. What the hell do you do with something like that? Are eggs like me ok to use in baking? Egg salad? Omelettes? What is the appropriate use of hybrid chicken-duck eggs? And, if I think that chicken eggs are superior, how do I resolve the dilemma that is my own existence? There is nothing wrong with the duck part of my egg, except that it isn't a chicken egg. I have no idea why that emotional barrier is so strong. I have no idea why I insist that white meat tastes better than dark meat. I have no idea why culinarily, I would probably make David Duke weep with pride. But, apparently I'm a food bigot. And I hate that about myself. And my feeling of superiority over blatant racists has been diminished, because truth be told, am I really any different or better than they are? I discriminate for no rational reason. The only thing that makes me slightly better is that I'm not trying to enact laws centered around my bigotry. 

 

However, there is a solution! I think I will just stop eating white meat or dark meat all together. The Sane One is a vegetarian, so it will be easy to transition into that diet. Wait, you say there are white beans and black beans? Oh, shit.....

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